I feel like it’s really important that I put this out there.
Over the past week or so, I’ve been feeling quite down. I don’t really have the time to feel down or sit around being miserable so I just end up brushing my emotions to one side and getting on with my day tending to my kids and doing what needs to be done. I know it sounds a bit silly but it’s true and I’m sure most mums can relate.
It’s not just that, there are times when I feel rubbish for no reason (hormones) or my kid’s have literally driven me insane for the day – these things are fine. Because that’s just life I guess. The reason why I’ve been feeling rubbish recently is actually because of this blogging thing I’ve started. You must be thinking “Why?!” or “How?!” so let me elaborate.
There are literally billions of bloggers out there all over the internet and Instagram (my choice of social media) that I come across daily and they have tens of thousands of followers and great pictures and they seem to own everything under the sun and have everything in the Universe working in their favour. But I don’t. I know I sound like a child throwing a tantrum because I want what someone else has, however that isn’t the case either. It’s just a bit overwhelming for me that’s all. Also, because all this is new to me, I feel a bit intimidated by all the personalities that are out there doing their thing. I just feel like “what’s the point of me even existing on the internet if someone else is already doing all this?”. So yeah, basically, I’ve been feeling sorry for myself. In real life, I’m not a loud ‘all out there’ type of person, I tend to keep to myself most of the time so I suppose it’s natural that I’ve carried that over into my blogging.
Here’s the thing though. I’ve been wanting to blog for about 7 years now. Initially, I wanted to share my knowledge, passion and love for all things beauty. Then I became a mother. Twice. So I thought I’d throw motherhood into the mix as well. I never got around to doing it though, and now that I finally plucked up the courage to create my own little space on the internet, I’m being afraid of carrying on.
I feel really stupid anyway for leaving it for so many years and I feel like even more of an idiot for not believing in myself.
So I gave myself a little pep talk.
I sat down and had a conversation with myself. (Laugh at me all you want, this actually works LOL)
I realised it’s not about all the expensive things you take pictures of only to get a billion likes to make yourself feel popular or pretending you like something just to get paid by brands. For me, it’s about what I have to share with the world. I believe that even if only one of my posts makes a difference to someone then I’ve achieved what I’ve set out to do. I’m not here to make people feel rubbish because they can’t afford what I post pictures of or because I can plaster my face with all sorts to change what I look like and they can’t (that’s not what I’m here to do anyway). I’m here because I genuinely want to make women feel beautiful inside and out without hiding who they really are. I want to feel like my readers can relate to me without feeling intimidated. Above all, I don’t want to make anyone feel how I’ve felt over the past week.
The most important thing I’ve realised though is that this is MY blog and I’m allowed to post whatever I like. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t appeal to everyone, I know that I’ve worked really hard on creating my content and that I should be proud of myself for having the courage to share a bit of myself with the world.
I really am proud of all the bloggers out there working hard doing what they do. Well done. I mean it. 🙂